The Disciple
門徒
(After Monet)
Oil on canvas
120 x 90cm, 2023
下滑见中译
When the meal was over, we left. As my two friends were walking together, Wilde took me aside:
“ You listen with your eyes,” he said to me rather abruptly. “That’s why I’m going to tell you this story: When Narcissus died, the flowers of the field asked the river for some drops of water to weep for him. ‘Oh!’ Answered the river, if all my drops of water were tears, I should not have enough to weep for Narcissus myself. I loved him!’ ‘Oh!’ Replied the flowers of the field, ‘how could you not have loved Narcissus? He was beautiful.’ ‘Was he beautiful?’ said the river. ‘And who could know better than you? Each day, leaning over your bank, he beheld his beauty in your water…’”
Wilde paused for a moment…
“‘If I loved him,’ replied the river, ‘it was because, when he leaned over my water, I saw the reflection of my waters in his eyes.’”
Then Wilde, swelling up with a strange burst of laughter, added, “That’s called The Disciple.”
We had arrived at his door and left him. He invited me to see him again. That year and the following year I saw him often and everywhere.
—––André Gide, Oscar Wilde: Reminiscences
Disciple (detail)
饭毕，我们起身离开。当我的两位朋友并肩前行时，王尔德把我拉到一旁：
“你用眼睛倾听，”他对我说，“所以我要给你讲一个故事——
纳西瑟斯死后，田野里的花向河水请求几滴泪，为他哀悼。河水叹息：‘即使我将每一滴水都化作泪，也不足以哭泣纳西瑟斯。我多么爱他啊！’
花朵不禁同情：‘你怎能不爱他呢？他是那样美！’
‘他美吗？’河水反问。
花朵诧异：‘谁能比你更清楚呢？他每天俯身在你的岸边，对着你观赏自己的美……’”
王尔德停顿片刻，继续说道：
“‘我爱他，’河水回答，‘是因为，每当他看我时，我都能在他的眼中瞥见自己的倒影。’”
说完，王尔德发出一阵古怪的笑声，又补充道：“这故事的名字叫《门徒》。”
我们一直走到他家门口才道别。他邀请我再次见面。在那一年，以及随后的日子里，我常常见到他，几乎无处不遇。
—— 安德烈·纪德，《回忆王尔德》
Disciple (detail)